My DEI experience in China 我在中国DEI的经历
I will sometimes tell a story to people about my experience waking up to the flaws of DEI thinking. I will never forget receiving an email from my alma mater sharing how the school would “address a whiteness issue” in the school faculty. Ironically, when I was there I don’t actually remember that many white teachers. The school certainly seemed the model of diversity, as many teachers were not only minorities but foreigners. So, my ears bristled and radar went up when I read this. I reached out thanking the school for seeking to provide fairness and address inequality but asked them to use more inclusive language so that all people groups felt included. Though I worded my email delicately and respectfully, I never received a reply.
我有时会跟别人讲述我意识到DEI思维缺陷的经历。我永远不会忘记收到母校发来的一封邮件，邮件内容是学校将如何“解决教师队伍中的白人问题”。讽刺的是，我当时在母校的时候，其实并不记得有那么多白人教师。这所学校看起来确实是多元化的典范，因为很多教师不仅是少数族裔，还有外国人。所以，当我读到这封邮件时，我竖起了耳朵，警觉起来。我联系了学校，感谢他们努力提供公平并解决不平等问题，但要求他们使用更具包容性的语言，让所有族裔都能感受到被包容。尽管我的措辞委婉而尊重，但我从未收到回复。
Having lived outside the US for nearly half my life now with the majority of the time in China, I wasn’t really privy to all the debates and sensitivity around DEI and Wokeness – not fully understanding it until I read that email. Then, I realized something was wrong in the US culture – at least at some universities. When sharing this issue with a white male friend recently, he didn’t agree that it was offensive because white males have traditionally held power. That may be the case, but my position is to seek fairness and equality for all, and while doing this communicate with respect to all people groups, regardless of race or ethnicity. I think this is part of why there is such a push back with DEI today: some of how it’s communicated is simply unfair.
我在美国以外生活了近一半的时间，大部分时间都在中国，所以我并不真正了解围绕DEI和觉醒主义的所有争论和敏感问题——直到我读到那封邮件才完全理解。后来，我意识到美国文化出了问题——至少在某些大学是这样。最近我和一位白人男性朋友分享这个问题，他并不认为这冒犯了白人男性，因为白人男性传统上掌握着权力。或许情况确实如此，但我的立场是为所有人寻求公平和平等，并在沟通过程中尊重所有人群，不分种族或民族。我认为这也是为什么如今人们对DEI如此抵触的部分原因，某些沟通方式本身就很不公平。
The Japan Experience 我在日本的经验
Back to my experience in China. I’ve been dealing with something very personal for nearly 25 years now on a daily basis which makes me really appreciate the American culture. But, before I dig into that, let me relate a recent trip to Japan with my family. When in Japan, we had a native Chinese immigrant to Japan take us around to different sites and back and forth from the hotel. Otherwise, we were largely on our own. It struck me like a shovel to the head how very unique Japan is in that no one wants to speak English. Absolutely nobody wanted to defer to English with me. I was flabbergasted. Gladly, my new Apple Watch has a translation function which translates voice to written Japanese. When needing to order a drink or rush the kids’ food, I spoke Chinese or English into my watch and showed the Japanese to the waitress who quickly understood and acted. No big deal.
回到我在中国的经历。近25年来，我每天都在处理一些非常令我头疼的问题。这让我非常欣赏美国文化。但在深入探讨之前，让我先讲一下我最近和家人去日本的一次旅行。在日本的时候，一位中国移民带我们参观了不同的景点，并接送我们往返酒店。除此之外，我们基本上都是自己一个人。这让我突然意识到，日本的独特之处在于没有人愿意说英语。完全没有人愿意在我面前用英语交流。我大吃一惊。幸运的是，我的新苹果手表有翻译功能，可以将语音翻译成书面日语。当我需要点饮料或催给孩子们上菜时，我会对着手表说中文或英文，然后把日语给服务员看，服务员很快就明白了，并采取了行动。这没什么大不了的。
Contrast this with China, in particular Shanghai. I cannot go one day without someone responding to my written or verbal Chinese with English. And, this has happened for 25 years.
Every. Single. Day.
So, when someone asks me how I liked Japan, I say – not really. There isn’t much of interest there for me. But, there is one thing – and, it’s huge. They don’t speak – and, don’t want to speak – English to me there. How amazing and refreshing was that? If I lived in Japan, I’m sure I’d be fluent in 3-4 years.
这与中国，尤其是上海的情况形成鲜明对比。我每天都会有人用英语回应我的书面或口头中文。这种情况已经持续了25年。
每一天。每一天。
所以，当有人问我是否喜欢日本时，我会说——不太喜欢。那里没什么让我感兴趣的东西。但是，有一件事——而且非常重要——他们不跟我说英语——也不想跟我说英语。这是多么令人惊喜和耳目一新啊！如果我住在日本，我肯定三四年内就能说一口流利的日语。
The Shanghai Experience 我在上海的经验
Contrast this with foreigners who have lived in China for decades who speak very basic Chinese.
Decades!
Is their rudimentary Chinese their own fault? Partially, yes. Many people have not taken it upon themselves to take classes, or to study it in their down time because English is so prevalent. Or, maybe they initially did take classes and study it but ran out of steam. There is little reason to continue when there is very little opportunity in the “real world” to learn it.
相比之下，在中国生活了几十年的外国人只会说非常基础的中文。
几十年！
他们的中文水平很差，是他们自己的错吗？部分原因是，是的。很多人因为英语太普及了，所以没有主动去上课，或者在闲暇时学习。又或者，他们最初确实上过课，在闲暇时学习过，但最终还是筋疲力尽。既然在“现实世界”里学习中文的机会很少，那么继续学习下去的理由就很少了。
To illustrate this, here is an example dialogue when in line at a coffee shop, standing behind a lady:
为了说明这一点，这里有一个在咖啡店排队时站在一位女士身后的对话示例：
我：
Me: “你点好了吗” (Have you finished ordering?)
Her: Turning to me 转向我: “Your Chinese is so good!”
Me: (depending upon my mood in the moment 取决于我当时的心情)
Option One: “如果讲得那么好，你为什么用英文来告诉我？“ If my Chinese is so good, why are you telling me in English”
Option Two: “你的英文说得真好“ (You’re English is great)
Knowing nothing else, an outsider would perhaps think either she is very friendly or that I am a total unappreciative jerk. It’s possible that both are true!
But, put yourself in my shoes for a moment and imagine living in a country where every day for years you’re told that your language skill is amazing when you simply say “hello” or when people answer you in English. Or, worse, when you’re in a group of people speaking their language and someone switches to English when they turn to you, changing the whole dynamic.
外人一无所知，或许会觉得她很友好，或者我是个不礼貌的混蛋。两种情况都有可能！
但是，设身处地为我着想，想象一下，你生活在一个国家，多年来，每天只要你简单地说一声“你好”，或者别人用英语回答你，就会有人夸你语言能力超群。或者更糟的是，你身处一群中国人中间，有人转头跟你说话，就直接用英语跟你说话。
I try to walk my Chinese friends through this scenario. I ask them if they’ve been to the United States. And, when in the US, what language they speak to people when there. And, finally whether or not people respond to them in Chinese or practice Chinese with them. Once we finish this scenario, many will “wake up” and have increased empathy with the foreigner’s experience. But, most will not. Most will say “that’s fine if people wanted to speak Chinese with me.”
我试着让我的中国朋友们体验一下这个场景。我会问他们是否去过美国。还有，在美国的时候，他们用什么语言和别人说话。最后，还要问人们是否用中文回应他们，或者和他们练习中文。一旦我们完成了这个场景，很多人就会“醒悟”，对外国人的经历更加感同身受。但大多数人不会。大多数人会说：“如果有人想和我说中文，那就没问题。”
That’s a crock of BS of course because I do that every day here.
So, what does all this have to do with DEI and the initial topic above?
Well, there is no DEI in China. There is no diversity, inclusion, and equality. This is an American concept. And, it’s a beautiful one when it really works.
Inclusion is an amazing and beautiful value. Think about all those immigrants to America when they enter the melting pot. The government even provides free English language education programs. And, what an excellent environment to learn a language!
这当然是一派胡言，因为我每天都在这儿说中文。
那么，这一切和多元文化包容性以及上面提到的那个话题有什么关系呢？
嗯，中国人很友好，不过根本没有多元文化。这里没有多样性、包容性和平等这理念。这是美国的概念。而且，当它真正发挥作用时，它是多么美好啊。
包容性是一种令人惊叹而美好的价值观。想想那些移民到美国，进入这个大熔炉的情景吧。政府甚至提供免费的英语教育项目。这真是一个学习语言的绝佳环境！
Diversity and Inclusion in China中国的多元化与包容性
What diversity means to a Chinese person is their Chinese ethnic diversity, which is 56 ethnicities and the majority Han Chinese. This does not apply to non-Chinese, who at their highest level of acceptance are ‘friends of China.’
All of this frustration aside, one may naturally assume that I don’t like China and question why I am here.
对中国人来说，多元化意味着中国民族的多元化，即56个民族和占多数的汉族。但这不适用于非华裔，外国人最高接受度上被称为“中国的朋友”。 撇开所有这些挫败感不谈，人们自然会认为我不喜欢中国，并质疑我为什么在这里。
I do like China, and I do like Chinese people. I just don’t like language-bullying behavior. I’m fine to speak English, but let’s be fair and ‘win-win’, (a popular concept here) so we both improve. It shouldn’t be a zero-sum game.
One thing I’ve done to address the issue is to introduce the “Chinese Day, English Day System” for my household. This is to ensure my children learn Chinese as they learn English. They too encounter this issue outside where people defer to English when speaking to them and comment on the “cute foreign kids” in Chinese when they think they can’t hear them. Sure, the cute foreign kids who were born and raised here. No wonder I’m hyper-sensitive about inclusion.
我确实喜欢中国，也确实喜欢中国人。我只是不喜欢语言欺凌行为。我愿意说英语，但我们应该公平地对待，秉持“双赢”的理念，（这在当地很流行），这样我们双方都能进步。这不应该是一场零和博弈。
为了解决这个问题，我在家里引入了“中文日，英文日”制度。这是为了确保我的孩子们在学习英语的同时也能学习中文。他们在外面也会遇到同样的问题，人们跟他们说话时会用英语，当他们觉得听不懂的时候，就会用中文评论那些“可爱的外国孩子”。没错，那些可爱的外国孩子都是在这里出生和长大的。难怪我对包容性如多样化这话题感到那么敏感。
So, my wife and I are happy with our “Chinese Day, English Day System” where we speak only Chinese on one day, and only English on the next. We rotate on a daily basis. While imperfect, it does three things: it pushes us toward total fluency in both languages; it builds confidence in my kids when outside (who are already fluent in Chinese and just need a friendly language environment); and, it’s a tool for me to tell my local Chinese friends “sorry, today is Chinese day” when they automatically defer to English all the time.
所以，我和妻子对我们的“中文日、英语日制度”很满意，也就是一天只说中文，一天只说英语。我们每天轮换。虽然不完美，但它有三个作用：它促使我们完全流利地掌握两种语言；它增强了我的孩子们在户外的自信心（他们中文已经很流利了，只需要一个良好的语言环境）；而且，当我的中国朋友总是自动用英语说话时，我可以用它来告诉他们“对不起，今天是中文日”。
To bring it back to the Japan example, when I said there was nothing for me in Japan except for the lack of interest in English – and, how huge that was in terms of a cultural asset. Shanghai is precisely the opposite. Shanghai is a great city. World-class. Well managed. Beautiful. Best cuisine in the world. The ONLY thing I don’t like about it is the constant deferring to English. And, that’s a huge thing for me. It’s an old wound that all too easily opens. A scab that is constantly ripped off.
I’d like to move on – to not care – but this is something I grew up with. This sense of inclusion and equality which is a very beautiful thing.
We all want it.
回到日本的例子，我说过，除了对英语不感兴趣之外，日本对我来说一无是处——而这，就文化资产而言，是多么巨大的财富啊。上海恰恰相反。上海是一座伟大的城市，世界一流，管理完善，风景优美，还有世界顶级的美食。我唯一不喜欢的就是总是要说英语。
这对我来说，是件非常大的事。这就像一个很容易揭开的旧伤，一个不断被撕开的痂。感觉一只没有被接纳。
我想对此不再在乎——但我从小就拥有某种价值观。这种人应该被接纳的包容和平等的感觉，非常美好。
我们都想要它。
Stark Discussion 